I know this has nothing to do with photography but in a way
it does because it’s about me.. a photographer.
So many people have asked me.. how am I losing the weight..
what am I doing and why can’t I be happy with who I am?
Yes all three of those questions have been presented to
me. And I am a pretty private person
when it comes to the things that have happened to me. I feel very passionate about a lot of the
things in the news these days but those issues although I could talk about them
would affect others close to me. But
this – this one thing.. the weight loss and the reason why is mine. It is my issue alone and yet not alone.
I have been very hesitant to talk about it because as I said
when it comes to my life issues I am pretty private.
But here goes.. a
year ago this week after a routine visit to my doctor I got a call telling me I
had DIABETES. And being this is Diabetes Awareness Month.. I thought I would
share my experience.
I wasn’t pre-diabetic.. I was full blown type 2
Diabetes. I WAS DEVASTATED. Because although it wasn’t a diagnosis of
Cancer or HIV or MS or Lupus or anything else equally as horrible, it was and
is a LIFE CHANGING DISEASE. I cried off
and on for a full week.. because honestly, I didn’t know how I was going to be
able to change anything. And after
reading about the long term effects Diabetes has on your body and the ravages
it can do to you and the meds and their side effects and the pricking of the
finger to take my blood and the horrible way I felt and still feel some days, I
was sure I was doomed and it felt hopeless.
So I wallowed in self pity for about a week. I gave
myself that. I was entitled. Especially RIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING. The diabetic’s worse enemy. Starches and sweets and fat and carbs and oh
my Lord, please how am I going to get through this. And then Christmas right around the corner,
with sweets and carbs and fats and starches. UUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! And suddenly, those holidays were even more
daunting because now I can’t eat all the butter I want on that sweet roll fresh
from the oven, wait I am not even suppose to have the sweet roll. Okay so my famous mashed potatoes. Those! I can eat those! WAIT.. no you can’t diabetic Connie. Okay so I can have stuffing.. with
GRAVY!! Yes gravy! WAIT - NO I CAN’T. So
these were my thoughts. Seriously.. I
was torturing myself.
So then my next thought was,
And my beloved Pepsi , Starbucks, hot dogs and I am not afraid to admit
it I love McDonald’s filet o fish and
Taco Bell’s burrito and pintos and cheese and Chik fil a Waffle fries. NO.. I will not give those things up.
I
was really ticked.. so then it was - SCREW
IT.. I AM EATING WHATEVER I WANT – THAT IS WHAT THE MEDS ARE FOR!! That’s the famous rebellious me telling
myself it didn’t matter. I have the meds.
But the more I researched,
the more I realized the meds only do part of the job. If I want to keep my limbs down the road or
be able to be as active as I want or feel like a human being I HAVE TO CHANGE
EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WAY I EAT AND LIVE.
I love all those things I mentioned before! I was raised on meat and potatoes and lots of
gravy and homemade pancakes with homemade syrup and my grandma’s chocolate
pie. And lots and lots of starches. My mom’s homemade candies at Christmas. Her famous Strawberry Cheesecake. HOW WILL I EVER CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT EATING
THESE THINGS.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I
DON’T WANT TO!
These are the irrational
crazy thoughts that went through my head.
I hate you diabetes. You suck diabetes.
So I was really determined to be angry about this.
For about a week.
Then I went to http://www.diabetes.org/ And suddenly
it didn’t seem so hopeless. They have
menus broken down to daily calorie intake and visuals to help you. I realized I can eat ALMOST anything I mentioned
before but that moderation and portion control was the real key. And that I should have more veggies then
anything. And not the other way
around. I learned that with type 2
diabetes you can control it to a degree.
And bring your numbers down. And that
you can be fairly healthy with diabetes if you do the things you should. So I did.. I gave up my Pepsi and hotdogs and
yes even the fast food. Do I cheat every
once in awhile.. OF COURSE! I am human
after all. But after I started changing
my diet and losing weight and feeling great I decided to start exercising. So I do yoga some days and I walk pretty much
EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have started small
weight training for my upper body. And I
am getting ready to start riding my bike a couple of times a week.
And guess what? I AM ENJOYING IT. Go figure.
I mean when I was
single I worked out everyday. So why did
I change that? I got lazy. I became a couch potato. I was buying size 14 no big deal except that I
am only 5 feet tall. But I was happy
with who I was. I was accepting it as an
age progression thing. And then Diabetes
came to my door and it has decided to stay.
The doctor tells me that I might be able to eventually get off the
meds. But family history does have
something to do with it.
So here I am .. almost 30 lbs lighter.. from size 14 to size
6. I have brought my AC1 number down 1.5 points.. still not enough but much
better than the other direction. So I carry
candy in my purse or on my person. So I check
my blood a couple of times a day. So I take medicine everyday. So i have to be mindful of what I eat every single time I think of eating. So what! I am
better. I feel better for the most
part. And better then I have felt in a long time. Don't feel sorry for me.. this post isn't about that.. it's about awareness. Because everyday people are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I am here to tell you it's not the end of the world. You can do it.
And I know people and kids with Type 1 diabetes. I have a client whose son has Type 1 and this
young sweet child has to have an insulin pump ALL THE TIME. It is part of his
life but he is happy and vivacious and full of life and then my diabetes gets put into perspective. I can potentially change mine. He has it forever. He is dependent on that insulin and that makes
me realize what a whiny butt I am being sometimes. He is kind of my hero now. And he doesn’t even know it.
So this is why I am losing weight. Not because I am unhappy with who I am or
vain about it. But because I want to live a full life.. and be the best I can
be for myself and those that love me.
So if you want to lose weight, change the way you eat and get up and move. As if your life depends on it. Because ultimately
it really does.
hugs, love and peace everyone..
Thanks for reading. I
have attached a video link that describes everything to a T for me except for the
shots. I am on pills right now. I have also linked the diabetes.org website
above.
You are a force my friend
ReplyDeletethanks Pat.. and thanks for being my friend. :)
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